The Long and Winding Road from Pastor to Life Coach
Throughout life as I was involved in the church world, I always had a pastor. The problem with that is almost every pastor I was connected to believed it was their way or the highway. I mean, a lot of them didn’t come out and say it quite that way, but as I changed and matured in life, many times it was evident that I would settle into a mediocre and unhappy existence if I adhered to their guidance. These days, I have come to a relationship with a special kind of person, Derek Ferwerda. A fantastic musician and a dedicated Christian, he is my Life Coach, a modern day equivalent of a pastor without all the drama of an organized church. He was a member of a band called The Spin Doctors and a touring member of popular pop/rock acts including Cyndi Lauper, Cher, Depeche Mode, Joe Cocker, Robert Palmer and Hall and Oates. Derek had a connection with Contemporary Christian Music, as he was in Michael English’s band. His insights are of tremendous value to me, and I owe my recent creative resurgence mostly to this man.
Initially, I approached Derek with the proposition that he consider producing my next album. We had lunch together several times before I came to the realization I was not at all ready to go to the next level. It wasn’t because of the quality of my writing, he affirmed I had the talent, but had much more to do with passion, and getting to the heart of a great production and most importantly, dreaming the dream.
I spent several subsequent meetings and numerous very lengthy text sessions laying out my vision for a Broadway Musical. We spent the afternoon together yesterday and drove up into the mountains of North Georgia and had lunch in this great little place, Ball Ground, GA. We talked mostly about the early days of our involvement with Contemporary Christian Music. I told him about the time me and Keith Green baptized my brother, Cecil, in a kiddie swimming pool. He replies, “you won’t believe who baptized me……..” As he paused to let me think, he blurts out “Pat Robertson” and we both almost lost it in hilarious laughter! Nothing against Pat, but both of us are just eternities away from that sort of thing now. Derek was born and raised in Puerto Rico and later moved to New Jersey. He spent a lot of time in the streets of NYC (not as a Christian, but mostly as a street fighter), where he met and became friends with David Wilkerson and Nicky Cruz, who had a street ministry there. Derek had threatened Nicky with a knife and Nicky responded, “you can slice me into a million pieces and I will die and go to be with Jesus, but you’re not going to stop me from loving you”. That affected Derek in a profound way, and soon after he became a Christian. I had both books about those days, The Cross and The Switchblade and Run, Nicky, Run! Those two books impacted me greatly as a young believer in Jesus. Years later, I was at a Christian Festival and played piano for Nicky as he presented the message and gave an altar call. Getting back to the story, the two of us went on and on, talking about all the people we knew mutually and the great stories of our adventures. An amazing afternoon, and a treasured memory for years to come.
As we got back to Atlanta and were parting, I asked him if he minded if I shared a bit of his guidance to me over the past 4 years. He graciously consented. I have many texts, but next, I’m going to share a condensed version showing how my dream evolved from the abstract to currently in production. I include his responses in blue to better follow. Besides that, black and blue is mostly where he leaves my ego a lot of the time. 🤕
After I first presented my deepest dream, to have a musical on Broadway that was spiritually based and in the tradition of Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell, he listened intently. He pointed out the cultural mood in context of when those musicals were produced. The first good sign followed, a complete disclaimer.
I want to go on record by saying that I fear that you are going to lose way more money than me. For good, bad or indifferent, this is not a direction that most people want to embrace. I think it’s very cool and very creative but I think as long as you set yourself up in the beginning for knowing that this is mostly a beautiful artistic endeavor that will be appreciated on a small scale, and furthermore cost you more to do it than it will profit, I think you’ll be OK. I just want to be protective and saying that I want you to be OK with this if and when your audience is small and select.
Many people who are visionaries and have ideas involving big production are very unhappy when it is not equally met with the same response.
OK, I thought. He’s not saying he doesn’t want to produce, he’s just saying, in a very polite way, “Man, you’re about to lose a ton of money”. Which only served to increase my desire to do it. Again I go back to him. “Listen, I really want you to produce this thing”.
As far as producing, I am producing. I am producing “You”!!!! If you really look at what a producer does. He oversees the whole project and manages all the little nuances. Right now that is you. I am helping organize you, your thoughts, your money and your systems in motion.
I felt much better about the path forward after that! He gave me my first assignment. It was to buy a book, Refuse To Choose by Barbara Sher. The subtitle is Use All Of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies To Create The Life and Career Of Your Dreams. This book absolutely changed my life. It teaches you in a most practical way how to pave the road to artistic success. My biggest application was the idea of charting out a six year plan. All the things you want to happen in that period. And keep notes always. As an idea hits you, write it down, keep a notebook with you at all times. Well, within a month I had more papers scattered all over the house and car and bedroom floor that I could keep straight. Really, the only thing that changed was they contained notes. I always had the clutter anyway. 🤣
A lot of the writing happened during the Pandemic. A great opportunity to focus, no flak about staying inside and doing nothing.
In the beginning, I was trying to say to him that this was a big change for me, I was always associated with Praise and Worship songs. I was worried that my past was going to derail my future.
I would eliminate the filter that needs to be sharing your story with everybody. You have not shared it with yourself emotionally yet. If you can do all the things you’ve done yet remain disconnected emotionally, you were ignoring and neglecting yourself. That is the worst crime and abuse.
“ Love God with all your heart mind and soul and then love your neighbor as your “self”.”
John, you have either avoided and/or neglected your time to come home. You need to shut everything else out and just vent, purge, and do something simple. No production, no empire building.
I need you to brace yourself for what I’m about to say to you. It’s going to sound like a really harsh criticism. It’s going to sound like a judgment.
You are disconnected emotionally. This could be for many reasons, my friend. However there is a way to access your heart more organically.
To continue what you have been doing or a version of what you have been doing, will do nothing but compound what you already have. You’re not gonna like the following. You need to drop everything you’re doing, and drop every way that you were going about it. You need to grab a guitar or sit at the piano. Shut up, stop talking about your past and stop building an empire, and just play a simple song and a simple melody and listen, listen, listen, listen and wait for it to sound and feel good. You have to do it with stillness, calm, introspection and mostly patience and love. I will not leave this platform with you. I am going to ground myself and dig in my heels with this perspective and I’m not leaving it. This is the same rule for all of us. To access your heart takes calm stillness, patience and simplicity.
You have to surrender, John, and lay down the sword of process and all the minutia that you have been involved in. There’s a reason I came across your life. Please listen. No harm will come to you by doing this process except maybe the dissolving of your own expectation, possible ego and your fear factor by kicking a little more for awhile. But this is the path. It’s not your path, it’s not my path, it’s His.
For a complete bio and other info, visit his website at www.derekferwerda.com
To wrap things up, and to further illuminate the meaning of the title of this blog, I present the most pure version of The Beatles’ The Long and Winding Road from the Let It Be... Naked album. This was the remix of the song using only The Beatles with Billy Preston, eliminating all the rubbish layers of over production by Phil Spector, after the fact. It’s a hauntingly beautiful song, and I interpret it to apply to my life personally in a spritual realization of God (Love): “Your door”. Let me know the way.